restless energy

[attr="class","itsover"]
Logically, she knew that living within a Clan would always have its bad days. It wasn't a constant stream of heroic stories where everything turned out OK. But still-[break][break]

But still.[break][break]

Her throat tightening, Bearpaw watched dimly as some of Lavendermist's closest friends and family members padded forward to whisper their last words to her. The young molly had already gone forward to pay her respects to her spirit, right after the ceremony finished. A small part of her waited for the moment where her mentor would pop back up, huffing that her pelt was now ruined and dusty and demanding who the frogbrain was that dragged her sleeping body out here.[break][break]

Time ticked on, with friends and family drifting around and sharing tongues in low tones.[break][break]

It was a shock, a freak accident! Who would've expected a skulk of foxes to be about when the hunting patrol was out? Nobody came forward with how it happened; everyone else on that patrol had come back. All she knew was that her mentor was now gone.[break][break]

She would never preen herself outside the warrior's den because she woke up before Lavendermist (it had been at least a moon in a row that this had happened) again. Because that was their thing.[break][break]

Or, it had been their thing.[break][break]

Bearpaw licked down her already perfectly clean fur on her chest as the "I'm so sorry for your loss" stares bored a hole into her heart. It was almost as though they expected her to break down and wail just as Lavendermist's father had done when they brought in her body. But she felt nothing but a dull ache. It felt as though someone had cut off one of her limbs; she was acutely aware of the loss but she had no idea what to do about the pain.[break][break]

Multiple times, some of her clanmates came up to her to tell her that they were there if she ever wanted to talk, that that was the best remedy for loss. Putting as much kindness in her voice, Bearpaw would decline the invitation with a shaky purr and tell them that she was OK. Because talking wouldn't help her.[break][break]

But she knew what would.[break][break]

Her gaze settled on Crowstrike. A new flood of emotions rocked her. Happiness that he was now her new mentor, irritation because maybe he had wanted this after all (he had been so willing to be her second mentor and wasn't that suspicious?), and horror that maybe he had seen her this distraught and maybe he now regretted even looking at her in the first place because no strong ShadowClan warrior would let emotions cloud their judgement like this.[break][break]

Swallowing them back (she really wasn't sure which one made the stars pop in her eyes), she could only hear the loud thumping of her heart in her ears, as Bearpaw forced herself to her paws and padded over to him.[break][break]

"Hey, Crowstrike-"she winced at her voice cracking at the edge-"can we go out and train? Please?" Her words rushed together as she continued, "I need to get out of here or I'm gonna-" She broke off and shook her head, not quite sure would she would do. "Anywhere but here."[break][break]

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